Classic Mustaches

I write a lot about beards. I do so often without giving proper credit to the beard’s hat, A.K.A., the mustache.

The mustache is the oft overlooked prime time player of the facial hair family, and today I’d like to pay homage to great staches everywhere. So in honor of the beginning of facial hair season, I give you: The 5 most classic mustaches known to mankind that I could think of this morning

#5 The “Einstein”

Pseudonyms:

  • The “Realest MC”
  • The “Basset Hound”
  • The “Nutty Proffesor”

 

#4 The “John Waters”

Pseudonyms:

  • The “McCreepster”
  • The “Hide yo kids, hide yo wives, hide yo husbands…”

#3 The “Charlie Chaplain”

Pseudonyms:
  • The “That’s hardly-even-a-real-mustache”
  • The “Silent film star who looks like a certain dictator who we all know but no one wants to call it out but I mean, come on guys”

#2 The “Burnside”

Pseudonyms:

  • The “General”
  • The “McAwesome”
  • The “Cut-your-hair-off-your-head-and-glue-it-on-as-sideburns”

#1 The “Tom Selleck”

Pseudonyms:

  • The “Magnum P.I.”
  • The “Malibu Rendezvous”
  • The “’80′s Flavor-Saver”
What am I leaving out? Nominate some of your own personal favorite mustaches.
  • http://dancarman.blogspot.com/ Daniel Carman

    You consistently make me laugh. Of course this was a great post too. You had me with Herr Einstein for obvious reasons.

    • http://thebeardedidealist.com/ Stephen Haggerty

      Thanks Dan! I’ve decided to try and focus my attention on making one reader happy each post. We will see…
      Albert had a great stache- I think that was the secret to his genius. I also think you should grow one just like it.

  • http://www.jasonvana.com Jason Vana

    I think you got them all!

    • http://thebeardedidealist.com/ Stephen Haggerty

      Thanks, Jason. I think you would pull off the Burnside quite well. It’s worth a try…

  • http://billgrandi.com/ Bill (cycleguy)

    I used to have a Tom Selleck. now I have a goat. I also had a Fu Manchu. You get a chance check out Kerry Livgren (formerly of Kansas).

    • http://thebeardedidealist.com/ Stephen Haggerty

      I would love to see you with a P.I.! :) Very nice.

  • Phil

    My dad rocked a mustache for all the time I can remember. I only have one as a beard hat. If I shave, I shave the complete package.

    • http://thebeardedidealist.com/ Stephen Haggerty

      I think mustaches have long played the role of “facial hair for those who want a beard but don’t know where to start.” So way to push on through and go all out with a real beard.

  • http://www.facebook.com/jebatthebeach Joan Penn-Bastian

    Wow! So many more so I’ll keep it musical >>> Freddie Mercury, John Oates, Sonny Bono, Yanni, David Crosby, Robert Goulet, Prince, Little Richard, Jimi Hendrix, Carlos Santana, Frank Zappa

    • http://thebeardedidealist.com/ Stephen Haggerty

      Very nice, Joan! :) Didn’t think about the “Jimi Hendrix” stache, A.K.A., the “Purple Haze.”

  • NanoRon

    The Hulk Hogan! (Miss seeing you around and occasionally harassing you, SH.)

    • http://thebeardedidealist.com/ Stephen Haggerty

      Good call on Hogan.
      We miss you guys as well. I hope you’ve found your next benefactor of said “harassment.” :)

  • austingilly

    I think you forgot about the “Creeper” the worst mustache of them all: http://www.midwestsportsfans.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/jake-plummer-tebow.jpg

    • http://thebeardedidealist.com/ Stephen Haggerty

      Nice call, Austin G Money. I think I prefer Plummer’s beard over his creeper stache.

  • http://amuseorbemused.com/ JT Adamson

    #3 Historical Footnote –
    Charlie called out his resemblance. The gutsy thing, he did this movie while Hitler was still in power. There’s the benefit of my film degree.

    • http://thebeardedidealist.com/ Stephen Haggerty

      Wow, I’m actually really glad you called that out, JT. That’s really cool he owned the resemblance- I think. Great use of your film knowledge!

  • http://amuseorbemused.com/ JT Adamson

    But the greatest historical mustache: THE INVENTOR
    Orville Wright, inventor of flight, flying a lifelong Mustache of Glory.

    • http://thebeardedidealist.com/ Stephen Haggerty

      Ha- nice. Mustache of Glory indeed.

  • http://danblackonleadership.com/ Dan Black

    The wild and crazy mustache!

    • http://danblackonleadership.com/ Dan Black

      Man, I don’t think the image posted, let’s try again:

      • http://thebeardedidealist.com/ Stephen Haggerty

        AKA The “Dubstep Yosemite Sam.” Nice one, Dan.

  • http://undistractedchristian.com/ Tyler Hess

    Hmmmm. Rollie Fingers. oh, and everyone’s dad ever.

    • http://thebeardedidealist.com/ Stephen Haggerty

      Perfect. Great stache.
      And good call on dads. Funny enough my dad had a Magnum PI most of my life. All dad’s should grow a mustache at some point.

      • http://undistractedchristian.com/ Tyler Hess

        I agree, too bad my wife hates the stache, which stinks because as awful as my beard looks, I have a great Sgt. Slaughter mustache

  • http://larryhehn.com Larry Hehn

    Ladies and gentlemen, the Lanny McDonald…
    http://www.sportsnet.ca/gallery/2011/06/14/lanny_stash_640.jpg

  • http://www.lifeofasteward.com Loren Pinilis

    I love how the Burnside is so three-dimensional. He even posed for that picture looking away to emphasize the dramatic curves.

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